I was browsing facebook when I came across this quote that one "friend" shared with us.
I don't know if this quote is true, you sometimes know how facebook can be when it comes to fake topics but I regress. In short the qote said that when a man makes love to his wife without ejaculating, he can talk with God (my "friend" is a self-proclaimed Buddhist) and that is what the priests discovered. But that when they had a sexual relationship with their wives, the priests who were then married, God did not want to talk to them anymore because they had ejaculated and were no long pure. Hum. In fact God would not just ignore them and not talk to them anymore the next day or the day after that, his lips were sealed for pretty much the whole week. So the priest introduced a rule: if they had sex, they had to stay away from the temple for 7 days. Afterwards they took the next logical step and asked: "If I want to talk to God every day, it would be better not to be married?" So they stopped getting married because they didn't lose their sexual energy and they could talk to God all the time. Yay!
When I read this quote (which I have paraphrased), I almost fell out of my chair, I found it absurd, stupid, and so baseless. In fact, I believe they have confused the sexual intercourse with the act of making love. They naively believed, in their male conception (of that time) of their relationship with women, that making love to a woman and having sex with a woman was the same thing.
So it might seem the same, but it is so different!
I'm going to be a little blunt, more than you have known me before, but I think when you fuck a woman without and deeper connection you have to consider if you are really the one who should be chatting with God. When you're using a woman like that, when you have a relationship that's only centered on your own sexual pleasure with a woman, you don't communicate with the divine. You're evading the divine. You don't communicate with anything, other than with your own hormones.
Maybe that is where the problem lies?
Really these priests were wrong.
I sincerely believe that making love is a sacred act that allows us to communicate more directly with the divine in us and the Divine of the universe. If in our sexual act we transmit sincere love to our partner, we allow the Divine to enter into us and communicate through us. Ononism, masturbation or pleasure alone also allows it if one does so to give love to oneself, to give oneself tenderness or as a gift of self also offers its benefits.
The sexual act itself, without love, simply physical is not bad in itself, it helps to release the tension and the accumulated stress. It can help to soothe anger and resentment. And it is also obviously an act of reproduction of the species, so it is an integral part of our instinct to be sexualized. It is a physical necessity. However, the sexual act alone, does not open the door to the same sort of connection.
It becomes your channel of communication, your bond, your relationship on multiple levels.